Squash Blossoms

As I mentioned yesterday, I snapped up some squash blossoms at the farmer's market on Sunday. I had no idea what to do with them other than to put things in them and then eat them, so I consulted the all-knowing internet for ideas. I pored over probably a dozen different recipes and most of them indicated the use of cream cheese or goat cheese, as the boyfriend has made them before. Neither of these options appealed to me because I don't really like cream cheese and I especially dislike goat cheese. Its very....goaty. I don't know. I don't really like sour cream, blue cheese or cottage cheese, either. I have a contentious relationship with dairy products. I love what I love and really can't stand the things I don't love. There isn't a middle ground in this situation, but I'm working on it. I swear I am.


Disdain for smeary cheeses aside, one recipe that I saw that appealed to me used basil and mozzarella.
Another one that sounded promising contained bacon and ricotta. Upon consulting with Nickolas on which approach we should use, he left it up to me since I am the picky one. So much to choose from! Cornmeal crusted or flour crusted? Ricotta or mozzarella? Bacon or no bacon? Both the ricotta and cornmeal options would necessitate a trip to the store, which Nick generously offered to undertake, but I am intensely greedy in terms of my time with him and when he got here after work, I wanted to make dinner, eat and cozy down for the night. I nixed the cornmeal and ricotta approaches and settled on mozzarella and flour.


I've only heard of people eating squash blossoms as a delicacy, so I was a little bit hesitant. They looked weird and I didn't think a delicacy should look like an alien eggsac, but I was intrigued by the way Nickolas has spoken about them since we first got together. Determined not to be grossed out by weird things people eat (JUST THIS ONE TIME. I am still totally repulsed by people eating whole shrimps and stuff - that is an ENTIRE BODY going into the mouth at once. it seems obscene!), I gave it a shot. All of the delicacies that friends and family have tried to get me to eat before have been met with a stern, "NO that is not going in my mouth," so I figured that if I am going to experience something that people think of as a culinary treat, it might as well be something as harmless as a flower. If you haven't tried squash blossoms yet, I think you should. Honestly. Despite them looking all weird and shrivelly and the petals feeling kind of like those spiderwebs that get stuck on your eyelashes when you walk into them, they are surprisingly tasty. And really pretty easy. Here's how we made them:


Squash blossoms stuffed with bacon and mozzarella

 

Our female blossoms had tiny zucchinis growing from them!

10 squash blossoms (male or female) - separated from any fruit, pistils/stamens removed

4 pieces of bacon - cooked crisp and crumbled

1 clove garlic - finely chopped

2T onion - finely chopped

1 medium tomato - seeded and finely chopped

1/3 c zucchini - finely chopped

1/2 c shredded mozzarella

1/4 c roughly chopped fresh basil

2 eggs - lightly whisked

1.5 c plain flour

1t unsalted butter

oil

The first step is to remove the pistil or stamen from each blossom, depending on whether you have female or male flowers. This is a delicate operation since the blossoms tear *very* easily, as evidenced by the photo above, which shows a blossom that I completely butchered with my giant hands. It is easiest to float the blossoms in some ice water for a few minutes, pull the petals apart gently and snap off the internal structures with your index finger, then turn the blossom upside down and let everything shake out. The pistil/stamen won't make you sick or anything; it will just be a horribly untasty hard NUBBIN in your mouth.  Do you want a nubbin in your mouth? I didn't think so.

Melt the butter in a saute pan and add the onion, garlic, zucchini and tomato. Saute them over medium heat until the onion just begins to go translucent - about 2 minutes. Add the basil and bacon, remove from heat and set aside in a separate bowl.

Whisk the eggs in a medium-sized bowl and place the flour in a large, shallow dish. Lay all of your blossoms out on one plate for easy access next to the eggs and flour, then combine the mozzarella with the vegetables. 

 Don't let the facial expression fool you. He actually likes me. I think. I put him in charge of the flower-stuffing and cooking because he is an expert and I had NO IDEA what I was doing.

Using a spoon, stuff the blossoms with the vegetable-bacon-mozzarella mixture. It should take between 1 and 1.5T of filling for each blossom. The tops of squash blossoms naturally want to twist closed, so gently pull the edges of the petals together and twist them slightly. If the blossoms aren't staying closed, you can secure them with a toothpick or baker's twine, whichever you have handy. Luckily, we didn't need either one, which is good because I don't have any of those things at the moment.

Heat your pan with 1/2" of oil in it to between medium and medium-high. Too hot and these little guys will burn. Not hot enough and they will end up a soggy, oil-filled mess that is not in any way delicious. If you're using a deep fryer, between 350 and 375 degrees would probably be perfect. I used the world's tiniest cast-iron pan, but you could really use whatever you prefer, so long as it provides even heat and can tolerate high temperatures. 

Roll the blossoms in the flour first, then dip them into the egg, making sure they are completely doused. Roll them again into the flour, coating them evenly, give them a tap to shake of any excess and place them immediately into the pan or deep fryer. In the pan, Nick let them cook for about a minute on each side, which was perfect. You only want to cook them until golden and crisp. Cooking them any further won't make them taste any better. In a standard frying pan, you could probably do 5-6 at a time with no problem. In my 6" cast iron Nick was able to cook 3 at a time. In hindsight I probably should have just purchased 9 blossoms so that there wouldn't be one lonely little one in the pan all by itself, but I just remembered I actually bought 12 and ruined two of them, so had I been less of a clumsy gianthanded girl, we'd have had 4 snug little batches of 3 blossoms each, all happy and content in their neighbor's company. I also realize that I sound crazy right now and apparently love run-on sentences, so I will move on.

The blossoms immediately after frying.


After each batch is done, place them on a paper towel to soak up any excess oil. I would then recommend eating them. 

Mozzarella is perfectly melted and holds the vegetables and bacon together without being too gooey. 
 


I was about halfway through with my first blossom when Nick asked what I thought of them. I chewed and chewed and couldn't really give an answer yet, so I told him I wasn't sure if I liked them or not. The flower has a definite flavor, but I think we sort of ran that over a bit by frying them, as one food blog warned we would. Female flowers are apparently more expensive than males. I paid 50 cents for each and figured that wasn't so bad since they had baby zucchinis attached to them and they were adorable, but I also don't have any comparisons on price whatsoever, so maybe I got a swingin' deal or something. Still I'd like to try grilling or baking them to see if I can bring more of that flowery taste out in them. Once I got around the whole thing about eating a flower that wasn't a violet (which the boyfriend may have ribbed me about just a lttle bit), I really liked them.



Overall, it was a good first try. Nick seemed to like them and he went back for more, so I consider it a success. The blossoms do lose some of the crunch when using the flour coating, so next time I make them I will try the masa coating to see if I can't retain some of that awesome texture. If I can find the blossoms again, I'd like to try them with a sundried tomato, basil, procuitto and ricotta filling and a cornmeal crust. Maybe served with some polenta. Maybe on a spinach salad. I don't know. I do know that I'm sad that these aren't in season all year long and that the window for finding them is shrinking as I type this.


I'm going to make it a mission to head down to the market this week and see if I can't find a few more to experiment with. If they are delicious, I will let you know. If they're not, I won't mention it, just like I didn't mention the fact that I lobbed off the end of one of my fingers and a good hunk of the fingernail itself while making that lentil soup the other day. Such things are unimportant and impermanent. Besides, it'll grow back. I hope.